The Monkey Mind aka Your Self Talk is SOOOO important! As the old proverb states
your mind believes everything you tell it, so plant flowers not weeds!
As a busy mom, therapist and all round human being one of my most important tools for my balance and growth is my self talk. I often catch my monkey mind in action in amazement at what is going on!! In clinic I often bear witness when working with clients just how hard we can be on ourselves. Whilst we can provide loving support, empathy and patience for our families and friends we can be our own worst enemy, saying and internalising things we would never say to another.
You know very often that the monkey mind is habitual, it is a patterning we learnt at a young age, and then adopted as our own. We reinforced it through repetitive use so that it becomes a default way of being for us. This happens at a very young age, some experts maintain before the age of 2 years old the foundation of the child’s personality/psychology is built. So essentially before they even have a full grasp on verbal or language skill with their sponge like ability to absorb and mirror the prominent adults around them they have been shaped…Wow!!
How to address the Monkey Mind
So how then can we address this monkey mind if this patterning happens at such a young age? Well like everything awareness is a great place to start, before we change anything in ourselves we first need to become aware or conscious of it.
Then the desire to change must also be borne. So that every time we think that cruel or unkind thought about ourselves we can ask ourselves “would I speak to my best friend like this? or is this true? or is this beneficial for me? and the answer is resoundingly 100% NO!!
So then why would we would choose to continue to speak to ourselves in such a manner. It is important to remember the longer we have a habit the longer it may take to address, so remain patient with yourself in your growth. Remember if you have been thinking unkind thoughts for 20/30/40 plus years it may take a little work to regain some ground. Persevere with it, these tools are 100% free and are available to us in every situation
I’d suggest also becoming aware of your triggers whether it is a body confidence issue or the face looking back at you in the mirror, social anxiety, family dynamics etc check in with yourself every time you feel that trigger. Whether it is before you attend an event or simply as you are routinely passing the hall mirror what is your thoughts and how are they making you feel?
Before the feeling there is always a thought, use that as your power play, you have immense control over your thoughts. Then notice where in your body are you feeling this, is it in your tummy a sensation of butterflies, lower back pain, stiff neck or an awareness of your heart beat? Acknowledge this feeling, acknowledgement is huge in helping to release whatever we have been holding onto and gives it an opportunity to resolve and leave peacefully. By not ignoring it or distracting from or stuffing it down we honour in ourselves a part of us that has not been seen previously and that can now move on with love.
Sounds great doesn’t it?!! How wonderful to be freer and kinder to ourselves:) I use this practice a lot personally and it has served me greatly. I love the resources that modern technology offers us and use it frequently. Why not try some podcasts (freely available on Youtube) with inspirational individuals and thought leaders such as Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Joe D’ispenza, Tom Bilyeu Lisa Bilyeu and Rich Roll. They offer a very diverse insight into life today and Tom. Lisa and Rich in particular interview incredible personalities. I also love all the Free !! meditations that are available for download to help heal and relax our bodies and minds.
Remember it takes at least 21 days to implement a new great habit, so keep the faith:) and stay positive that what you want to shift will happen for you:):)